The Social Media Trap and Your Self-Esteem
Social media has connected us to friends, family, and information like never before. However, it has also led many of us to compare our lives and perceived shortcomings to the carefully curated lives of others. This can take a major toll on our self-esteem.
As a psychologist, I often counsel patients on how to avoid the social media trap and improve their self-talk.
With some simple mindset shifts and therapeutic techniques, you can separate your self-worth from social platforms and treat yourself with more compassion.
Control Your Inner Voice
The voice inside our heads can be our own worst critic. It compares us to others and dwells on our flaws.
A first step is noticing when that voice turns negative. Become aware of put-downs, judgments, and criticisms.
Next, purposefully shift your inner monologue.
Actively replace it with positive self-talk, words of kindness, appreciation for your attributes, and acceptance of imperfections.
Treat yourself as you would a loved one struggling with self-doubt.
Find Your Vitamin People
Surround yourself with people who enrich your life and make you feel supported, understood, and loved for who you are.
Limit interactions with those who are overly critical or competitive.
Choose friends and connections who are positive forces and vitamins for your soul.
Focus on these nourishing, real-world relationships over the numbers of followers and likes on social platforms.
Practice Self-Compassion
Many of us are far kinder to others than we are to ourselves.
Make an effort to meet your own shortcomings with gentle understanding rather than harsh criticism.
Recognize that all people have flaws and struggles common to the human experience.
Challenge overly critical thoughts by asking yourself what you would say to a good friend in the same situation.
Treat yourself the way you would a loved one.
Unfollow Accounts That Trigger Comparison
While social media allows us to stay informed and connected, it also facilitates endless opportunities for comparison.
Be aware of accounts that tend to make you feel inadequate or dissatisfied with your life.
Unfollow people who make you feel envy, worry or negative self-judgement.
Curate your feed to feature accounts that are positive, inspiring, educational and uplifting.
Remember that others carefully craft and filter what you see.
Resist the temptation to compare highlight reels to your daily reality.
Limit Social Media Time
Endless scrolling and obsessive monitoring of notifications keep our minds locked in an anxious loop of comparison and approval seeking.
Set limits on your daily social media use and stick to them.
Take regular social media breaks where you consciously unplug for days or weeks at a time.
Use your reclaimed time to nourish your physical, emotional and spiritual health with activities you find calming and fulfilling.
Regain control over your time and attention.
EMDR Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is an effective treatment for relieving emotional distress over traumatic memories.
A therapist guides you through focusing on specific disturbing thoughts, emotions or experiences while you track their finger back and forth.
This prompts your brain to process the events and memories in a new way.
Research shows EMDR can help heal painful feelings of not being good enough, heartbreak, abuse and other issues that create low self-esteem.
Be Your Authentic Self
The filtered versions of people we see on social media conceal more than they reveal.
Others carefully stage them to impress and project desired identities. But meaningful connection comes from authenticity.
Rather than obsess over how you look and are seen online, focus on self-development.
Engage in hobbies, education, acts of service and real human interactions.
Keep learning, help others, and express your unique personality. You are so much more than your online persona.
Foster a Growth Mindset
People with growth mindsets believe abilities can be developed through effort and practice. They are resilient when facing challenges and constructively critical of themselves.
Foster this mentality by focusing on growth over perfection. View failures and setbacks as opportunities to improve.
Celebrate small wins and find encouragement in the progress you make each day.
Appreciate the journey over the illusion of constant happiness or success.
Your self-worth stems from your humanity, not hurdles overcome or milestones achieved.
Let Go of Approval-Seeking
The social media cycle of validation seeking and comparison is ultimately empty and not satisfying.
The thrill of new notifications is fleeting. Learn to stop chasing likes and define yourself based on inward approval.
Curate your feed for your interests, not the interests of others.
Share your authentic thoughts and experiences.
Disconnect your self-worth from popularity. Your value is not counted in comments or follows. It stems from your unique abilities, passions and humanity.
Prioritize Self-Care
Make regular self-care a high priority, not a luxury.
This includes adequate sleep, nutrition, exercise and time off screens.
Carve out space for activities that calm your nervous system like meditating, walking outside, listening to music or enjoying hobbies.
Nurture your physical, emotional and spiritual health every day.
Listen to your feelings and give yourself what you need in that moment to feel whole.
Your self-esteem will flourish when you lovingly care for your whole self.
Choose Gratitude Over Envy
The tendency to envy others’ lives is natural but destructive to self-esteem. When you catch yourself making upward social comparisons, shift your mindset.
Appreciate blessings in your own life rather than focusing on what others have.
Keep a gratitude journal where you list things you are thankful for.
Express gratitude to supportive people you appreciate.
Appreciate your own good fortune instead of coveting the success of others.
There are always people in better and worse situations.
See Your Worth
Treat yourself with the kindness, empathy and respect you deserve.
You are so much more than your achievements, appearance or perception online.
You are a complex human being, worthy of love simply because you exist.
You do not need to prove your value through likes, follows or flattering comments.
You are inherently deserving.
If you are struggling with self-esteem issues related to social media use or other factors, please reach out.
I am here to help provide a judgment-free space for healing.
You can book an appointment with Dr. Benejam by calling (561) 376-9699 / (305) 981-6434. During the appointment, you can discuss how we can collaborate to help you feel better and more confident.
With self-compassion, therapeutic techniques and mindset shifts, you can separate your self-worth from the social media trap.
Remember your inner light. You are amazing as you are.
