Six behaviors that make people walk away from us and how to change your attitude so as not to repeat them.
Most of us want to be successful in our personal relationships, but attitude is crucial for this goal. Actually, there are some actions that, if repeated, might result in the alienation of others from our surroundings. This post will cover the most prevalent qualities and what we can do to improve them if we have them.
1. Being a continuous victim and continually putting oneself in the worst possible situation
Taking on this position to express compassion can only work for a while. There is truth to the expression, “We all like to be among cheerful and joyful individuals.” This isn’t to say that you should never communicate your bad streaks or negative tendencies with your surroundings. They will avoid us “like the plague” if we accept negativity as a philosophy and victimization as a way of life.
“Some people only notice the bad aspects of events that happen to them, or they constantly predict what will take place in the future, making it difficult for them to be joyful.” “The world would not exist if it weren’t up to them.”
To avoid this, we cannot blame everything terrible that occurs to us on the outside or on fate, because certain variables are within our control, and we must be conscious that many of the things that occur to us are the results of our thoughts and actions. Only a good attitude can assist us and help us gain the trust of others.
“The green-eyed monster” also does not contribute to the formation of a healthy social circle. Envy is frequently interpreted in the social arena as a sign that we care for others; yet, we will only discover irritation and unhappiness in them. They produce sentiments of jealousy, obsession, or control that present themselves unknowingly and automatically and project onto others, which might cause them to flee from us.
To overcome them, we must learn to cherish our own abilities and qualities, as well as the good fortune that comes our way. “You must refrain from comparing yourself to others.”
3. Constant praising is required
“To whom a sweet is bitter” refers to any compliment or flattery we receive from others. However, if our self-esteem is dependent on frequent affirmation from others, it will turn against us. Complement addiction may also harm your friendships.
It is not the responsibility of the people around us to be inspiring and feed our ego: ” Each one is different and unrepeatable, and we are not obliged to satisfy everyone at all times, but just ourselves.”
The goal is to learn to love oneself. This is not to say that we should become vain or narcissistic; rather, we should be mindful that how others see us is merely a sampling of reality that is not always correct.
4. Overreacting to situations
Situations such as when a manager praises a colleague’s success and not ours might hurt our feelings, but we must learn to relativize these ‘little stabs to the ego’ and “not question our value or discount ourselves”.
We must also avoid taking everything to the personal level because we are not the world’s navel. We must strive to maintain emotional control and avoid overreacting to ordinary situations.
To be honest, we must be willing to admit that we are not the greatest at everything. Only in this way will we be able to remove a big weight off our shoulders: if everybody always turned to us, it would be stressful, and we cannot be specialists in both job and personal areas. On certain things, there are those who have better ideas than we do.
5. Refuse to accept constructive criticism
No one is satisfied that shortcomings are emphasized, but it does not hurt to be reminded of them from time to time. However, we should not mistake it with the mindset of individuals who only perceive the negative, since this may be detrimental to personal progress.
“Nobody’s perfect,” Joe E. Brown says to Jack Lemmon in Some Like It Hot. “Recognizing our shortcomings is a strength that develops self-esteem and helps us put systems in place to overcome them.”
6. Be totally honest, even if no one has asked for your opinion
Without being asked, we will spread our opinions on any issue, such as how terrible your friend’s clothing is or the hair on your coworker’s head.
What is described as “having no filter,” or making gratuitous judgments left and right, can harm or make others uncomfortable. According to the expert, talking too much is not a socially valued quality: “You cannot say the first thing that comes to mind or criticize others carelessly without thinking that we may offend.”
We should learn to be more cautious, courteous, and compassionate. It is also helpful to understand how to appreciate the characteristics and skills of others: It is better to err on the side of caution rather than excess when making judgments about people. We must be mindful not just of what we say, but also of how we say it.
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