The Challenges and Gifts of Highly Gifted Children and Adults

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Being highly intellectually gifted comes with both significant strengths and difficulties.

While a high IQ seems glamorous, living with extreme giftedness has many challenges.

This article explores the blessings and obstacles experienced by gifted individuals, with insights from child psychologist, Dr. Benejam.

What Does It Mean to Be Gifted?

Giftedness refers to having outstanding intellectual aptitudes compared to same-age peers. Academically gifted children typically have an IQ score of 130 or above, placing them in the top 2% intellectually.

Common characteristics of gifted kids include:

  • Fast learning ability
  • Advanced reasoning skills
  • Early and advanced verbal development
  • Exceptional memory
  • Intense curiosity and persistent questioning
  • Deep concentration and focus
  • Abstract and complex thinking

Gifted children soak up new information rapidly and make connections that less cognitively advanced children cannot. This sets them on an asynchronous developmental path.

Are Gifted Children More Likely to Be Neurodivergent?

With cognitive functioning in the extreme percentiles, the gifted brain has enhanced neural connections and more rapid information processing.

As statistical outliers, highly gifted individuals are more prone to other neurodivergent traits.

Many gifted people feel oddly different from their peers from a young age without understanding why. Their lived reality does not match that of most others around them. When their advanced abilities are misconstrued or criticized, it hampers healthy social-emotional growth.

Sensory Processing Differences

The heightened neural activity of gifted brains can also lead to sensory sensitivity issues:

  • Auditory high sensitivity – loud noises like sirens easily overwhelm
  • Enhanced smell detection – avoiding pungent odors like lunchrooms
  • Visual overwhelm – too many visual stimuli cause discomfort
  • Tactile sensitivity – irritation from tags, sock seams, scratchy fabrics

Gifted children may also grow bored and bored more easily than others if not adequately mentally engaged. These sensory processing differences, both hyper- and low sensitivity, underpin many typical gifted child behaviors.

What looks like defiance, anxiety, impulsive actions or avoidance is often a reasonable response to sensory overwhelm. However, these reactions are commonly mislabeled as misbehavior rather than a need for support.

Emotional Intensity

The combination of rapid information processing, pattern recognition, abstract thinking, sensory sensitivity and vivid imagination gives rise to intense inner experiences for the gifted.

Common emotional traits include:

  • Perfectionistic tendencies
  • Anxiety
  • Deep introversion
  • Burn out
  • Taking on others’ emotions
  • Frustration with unmet expectations

Intellectually advanced children see more, feel more, and understand more than their peers. However, the outside world often fails to grasp the reality behind their emotional responses.

Impossibly high expectations from adults, combined with poor social fits, pressure gifted kids to hide their true selves.

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The Emotional Paradox

Gifted children receive constant praise for intellectual talents and scholastic success. But sadly, many feel deeply lonely and emotionally neglected at home.

When children cognitively leapfrog their parents and families, tension arises.

Gifted children often try taking care of their parents emotionally without realizing the unhealthy dynamic

Psychologist Alice Miller captured this paradox in her book ‘The Drama of the Gifted Child.’

She explains how their intensity, curiosity, critical thinking and emotional depth reveal the parents’ weaknesses, provoking anxiety and denial.

Social Challenges

The social-emotional developmental trajectory of gifted children also diverges from norms.

Brighter kids commonly interact more easily with older groups and feel disconnected from same-age peers.

Highly gifted kids commonly interact more with adults early on because of their advanced talking skills and mature interests.

Unfortunately, missing these age-stage social interactions can negatively impact self-identity later on. Feeling like a perpetual outsider, introversion or avoidance behaviors logically follow.

Learning Disabilities in Gifted Children

Contrary to popular belief, gifted children are just as susceptible to learning disorders as any students. Twice exceptional, or ‘2e’ students demonstrate remarkable talents alongside learning disabilities that impact academic performance.

Common learning disorders seen in gifted populations include:

  • Dyslexia
  • Dyscalculia (math learning disorder)
  • Dysgraphia
  • Auditory processing disorder
  • Visual processing disorder
  • ADHD

Misunderstanding Gifts as Weaknesses

The heightened sensitivity and questioning nature of bright kids are tremendous strengths begging for guidance and mentorship. However, in standardized schools and rigid social norms, their gifts get mistaken for problems or weaknesses.

What appears as ‘intense energy’ or anxiety may stem from boredom and under-stimulation. Sensory sensitivity gets mistaken for defiance or oddity. Deep introspection gets labeled as shyness or standoffishness.

By focusing only on their flaws, we deprive these children of the self-compassion vital for their unique gifts.

Reframing the Issues

Rather than forcing gifted young people to conform to limiting molds, we must make space for their differences.

Sensory sensitivity should be met with care and accommodation, not correction. Emotional expansion requires mentorship through life’s complexities, not minimization. Questioning and criticism ought be encouraged, not shamed as annoyance or defiance.

Only by embracing the whole gifted child will they grow into empowered, purposeful adults.

To schedule a consultation with Dr. Benejam please contact his office Today!

Dr. Benejam’s Gifted Assessment Services

Has your child demonstrated some of the above characteristics? Gifted assessment can provide objective clarity and qualification for appropriate educational services.

We offer affordable gifted testing with same-day results. 

Parents see Dr. Benejam to determine if special school services and enrichment resources would help their child prosper.

We take a holistic, strengths-based approach to human ability and potential. Contact us today by calling NOW  at  (561) 376-9699 / (305) 981-6434.