Harm to Self or Others – When Your Own Mind Scares You
Harm to Self or Others – When Your Own Mind Scares You
Sometimes the scariest place is not outside. It is inside your own mind.
You may have moments when you think:
- “What if I hurt myself?”
- “What if I snap and hurt someone I love?”
- “What if I lose control and do something terrible?”
These thoughts can feel shocking, shameful, or completely out of character. You might be afraid to tell anyone. You may even worry that just having these thoughts means you are “dangerous” or “a bad person.”
In reality, many people have distressing thoughts of harm at some point in life. These thoughts do not always mean you will act on them.
However, they are important signals that you deserve support and a safe place to talk about what is happening.
Dr. Gustavo Benejam, a licensed psychologist, provides careful, non-judgmental assessments and treatment for people who feel afraid of what they might do to themselves or others.
Important Safety Note – If You Are in Immediate Danger
Important Safety Note – If You Are in Immediate Danger
This page is not an emergency service.
If you are in immediate danger or feel unable to stay safe:
- Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
- In the United States, you can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate support.
If you live outside the U.S., contact your local emergency number or a local crisis hotline right away.
After the crisis has passed, outpatient therapy with a psychologist like Dr. Benejam can help you understand what led to that point and how to reduce the risk in the future.
It’s important to know that self-harm is not usually a way to try to end one’s life. However, it can raise the risk of suicide if not treated.
Many people who self-harm say they do it to feel something when they are numb or to distract themselves from emotional pain.
What “Harm to Self or Others” Means in Mental Health
What “Harm to Self or Others” Means in Mental Health
Mental health professionals pay close attention to any risk of harm to self or others. This can include:
- Thoughts of wanting to die or not wanting to be alive
- Urges to hurt yourself on purpose
- Plans or intentions to act on those urges
- Thoughts or fantasies of harming other people
- Aggressive impulses that feel hard to control
Sometimes these thoughts are part of conditions like severe depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), substance use, or other mental health disorders.
Other times, the thoughts come up during intense stress, grief, or major life changes. In all cases, they are signals that something in you is under heavy pressure and needs attention.
Dr. Benejam is a skilled psychologist. He works in forensic and clinical psychology. He has given expert evaluations and advice for over 15 years. His work includes criminal, civil, and immigration cases. He offer reliable psychological insights across diverse legal contexts, supporting attorneys and their clients with professional, court-ready assessments.
Dr. Benejam is a skilled psychologist. He works in forensic and clinical psychology. He has given expert evaluations and advice for over 15 years. His work includes criminal, civil, and immigration cases. He offer reliable psychological insights across diverse legal contexts, supporting attorneys and their clients with professional, court-ready assessments.
If you or someone you know is hurting themselves or thinking about hurting others, it’s very important to get help right away.
Consider visiting Dr. Benejam in his Miami or Boca Raton office.
If you or someone you know is hurting themselves or thinking about hurting others, it’s very important to get help right away.
Consider visiting Dr. Benejam in his Miami or Boca Raton office.
Thoughts vs. Actions – Why That Distinction Matters
Thoughts vs. Actions – Why That Distinction Matters
One reason people stay silent is fear:
“If I say I have these thoughts, will they lock me up?”
However, mental health professionals make a clear distinction between:
- Intrusive thoughts you do not want and would never choose to act on
- Fantasies or urges that feel tempting or relieving
- Intent and plans to act, especially with access to means
Many people have violent, shocking, or “taboo” thoughts that they never act on. These can behave like mental “spam” and often show up more when you are anxious, guilty, or under stress.
On the other hand, if you feel pulled toward action, have made plans, or feel you “might not stop yourself,” that is a higher-risk situation and needs urgent attention.
Either way, you deserve a place where you can speak honestly without being shamed.
Signs It’s Time to Reach Out for Help
Signs It’s Time to Reach Out for Help
You may want to contact a psychologist like Dr. Benejam if you notice:
- Frequent thoughts of wanting to die, disappear, or “escape everything”
- Urges to hurt yourself when you feel angry, empty, or overwhelmed
- Fear that you might lose control and hurt someone during anger or panic
- Increasing use of alcohol or drugs to push thoughts away
- Pulling back from friends, family, or activities you used to enjoy
- Feeling numb, hopeless, or like a burden to others
- Feeling ashamed of things you have done to yourself in the past
You do not need to wait until you are in crisis. In fact, it is often easier to change course before things reach a breaking point.
Why People Think About Harming Themselves
Why People Think About Harming Themselves
Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are usually linked to emotional pain, not to weakness or attention seeking. Many people consider harming themselves when they:
- Feel overwhelmed by sadness, shame, guilt, or anger
- Believe they are a burden and that others would be “better off without them”
- Want relief from constant emotional or physical pain
- Feel trapped in a situation with no way out
- Think they have “failed” in some important role in life
For some, hurting themselves can bring a brief sense of release. However, the relief is temporary. The underlying problems and emotions remain, and the risk of serious injury or death increases over time.
Therapy helps you find safer and more sustainable ways to cope and to address the root causes of your pain.
What About Thoughts of Harming Others?
What About Thoughts of Harming Others?
Thoughts of harming others can be just as frightening as thoughts of harming yourself. You might worry that you are “a monster” or that you do not know what you are capable of.
However, these thoughts can come from many different places:
- Intense anger or resentment during conflict
- Traumatic experiences that replay in violent mental images
- Obsessive thoughts that are unwanted and disturbing
- Dark fantasies that appear when you feel powerless or humiliated
Most people who have these thoughts never act on them, especially when the thoughts feel ego-dystonic (not in line with their values).
Still, it is crucial to take them seriously and discuss them with a qualified professional who can assess your actual level of risk and help you regain a sense of control.
You are allowed to talk about these thoughts without being defined by them.
How Therapy with Dr. Benejam Can Help
How Therapy with Dr. Benejam Can Help
Dr. Gustavo Benejam approaches “harm to self or others” concerns with a balance of compassion, honesty, and clinical rigor.
Although every person is different, therapy often includes:
1. Careful, Respectful Assessment
- Reviewing your history, current stressors, and mental health background
- Asking structured questions about thoughts, plans, and protective factors
- Identifying what increases risk and what helps you stay safe
This assessment is not about judging you. It is about understanding your situation so you can receive the right level of care.
2. Creating a Safety Plan
If needed, you and Dr. Benejam can create a personalized safety plan that may include:
- Your early warning signs that a crisis is building
- Internal coping strategies you can try on your own
- People you can contact when you need support
- Places you can go to feel safer
- Professional and crisis resources to use if risk increases
A safety plan is written in clear, simple language so you can follow it even when you feel overwhelmed.
3. Treating the Problems Underneath
Thoughts of harm rarely appear in a vacuum. They usually sit on top of deeper struggles, such as:
- Depression and hopelessness
- Anxiety and panic
- Traumatic memories and PTSD
- Chronic stress, burnout, or caregiver fatigue
- Relationship conflict, separation, or loss
Dr. Benejam uses evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), trauma-informed therapies, and other methods to address these root issues. Over time, as your life and coping improve, the intensity and frequency of harmful thoughts often decrease as well
4. Strengthening Protective Factors
In addition to reducing risk, therapy helps you build what protects you, such as:
- Meaningful relationships and support
- Healthier ways to cope with stress
- A sense of purpose and future goals
- Skills to manage conflict and strong emotions
These protective factors make it easier to stay safe even during future periods of stress.
What to Expect in Your First Session
What to Expect in Your First Session
The first session is often a relief because you can finally say things out loud that you have been holding in.
Usually, the first meeting includes:
- Talking about what brought you here now
Recent events, thoughts, or behaviors that made you decide to seek help. - Reviewing your history
Past mental health treatment, medical conditions, substance use, trauma, and supports. - Exploring risk and safety in a calm way
Clear, direct questions about harm to self or others, without judgment. - Agreeing on next steps
Deciding together how often to meet, what to focus on, and whether additional supports are needed.
You can ask questions at any point. You are also free to say if something feels too fast or too intense.
Taking the First Step Toward Safety and Relief
If your thoughts about harming yourself or others are scaring you, you do not have to carry that fear alone.
With the right support, many people:
- Feel more in control of their thoughts and actions
- Reduce or stop self-harm behaviors
- Find safer ways to express anger and pain
- Rebuild hope and a sense of future
To ask about an appointment with Dr. Gustavo Benejam (for non-emergency care):
Call 305-981-6434 (Miami Office) or 561-376-9699 (Boca Raton Office).
You can also use the contact form on this page to request more information.
And remember:
If you are in immediate danger or feel you cannot stay safe, call 911 or 988 in the U.S., or your local emergency number. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness. It is a serious, courageous step toward staying alive and getting the help you deserve.
Contact Us to Get Started
If you or someone you know is hurting themselves or thinking about hurting others, it's very important to get help right away.
If your thoughts about harming yourself or others are scaring you, you do not have to carry that fear alone.
With the right support, many people:
- Feel more in control of their thoughts and actions
- Reduce or stop self-harm behaviors
- Find safer ways to express anger and pain
- Rebuild hope and a sense of future
To ask about an appointment with
Dr. Gustavo Benejam (for
non-emergency care):
Call 305-981-6434 (Miami Office) or 561-376-9699 (Boca Raton Office).
You can also use the contact form on this page to request more information.
And remember:
If you are in immediate danger or feel you cannot stay safe, call 911 or 988 in the U.S., or your local emergency number. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness. It is a serious, courageous step toward staying alive and getting the help you deserve.