Do you find yourself constantly trying to control every aspect of your life?
Wanting control is normal, but trying to control everything can cause psychological issues.
When we try to control everything, we often experience increased stress, anxiety, and frustration.
We may also struggle with relationships and find it difficult to adapt to change.
This blog discusses the issue of wanting to control everything. It also provides tips to help you stop feeling the need to control everything.
The Need for Control Many people feel the need to control everything in their lives.
Wanting control can come from different things like past experiences, personality traits, or fear of the unknown.
When we try to control everything, we often believe that we can prevent negative outcomes and ensure positive results.
However, the reality is that life is unpredictable, and attempting to control everything can be exhausting and ultimately futile.
The Psychological Disadvantages of Wanting to Control Everything
Increased Stress and Anxiety
One of the most significant psychological disadvantages of wanting to control everything is increased stress and anxiety.
When we try to control every aspect of our lives, we place a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves.
We may worry about making the right decisions, anticipating potential problems, and ensuring that everything goes according to plan.
Feeling stressed and anxious constantly can harm our mental and physical health. This can lead to problems such as headaches, trouble sleeping, and digestive issues.
Difficulty Adapting to Change:
Another disadvantage of wanting to control everything is difficulty adapting to change. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and when we’re fixated on controlling every outcome, we may struggle to cope with change.
We may resist new opportunities or experiences because they don’t fit into our carefully crafted plans.
This inflexibility can limit our personal and professional growth and prevent us from enjoying the richness and diversity that life has to offer.
Strained Relationships
The desire to control everything can also strain our relationships with others.
When we try to control every aspect of a relationship, we may come across as demanding, critical, or overbearing. We may struggle to trust others and delegate tasks, leading to resentment and conflict.
This can be particularly challenging in romantic relationships, where the need for control can lead to power struggles and a lack of intimacy.
Perfectionism and Procrastination
Wanting to control everything often goes hand in hand with perfectionism.
Setting very high standards can make us scared to make mistakes, for ourselves and others.
This can lead to procrastination, as we put off tasks until we feel we can complete them perfectly.
Perfectionism can make us feel inadequate and lower our self-esteem. This happens when we constantly compare ourselves to an unattainable standard.
Common characteristics and features of a person who excessively tries to control things
Perfectionism: They often have unrealistically high standards for themselves and others, striving for perfection in all aspects of life.
Rigidity: Some people struggle with change and surprises, preferring to stick to strict routines and plans instead.
Micromanagement: They tend to closely monitor and control the actions of others, often providing unsolicited advice or criticism.
Difficulty delegating: Some people struggle with delegating tasks because they have a hard time trusting others. They prefer to do everything themselves to ensure it is done correctly.
Fear of uncertainty: People may feel anxious when they don’t know what will happen, trying to control things to reduce risk.
Obsessive thoughts: Constantly worrying about problems or things that could go wrong can lead to stress and rumination.
Emotional suppression: Some people try to hide their feelings because they think showing vulnerability or losing control is weak.
Impaired relationships: Controlling behavior can harm relationships with family, friends, and colleagues, making others feel suffocated or resentful.
Difficulty relaxing: It’s hard for them to unwind and have fun because their mind is always thinking about controlling things.
Burnout: It happens when someone always tries to control everything, making it hard for them to rest or relax fully.
Procrastination: Paradoxically, the fear of not being able to complete a task perfectly can lead to procrastination and avoidance.
Blaming others: Instead of taking responsibility or adapting, some people quickly blame others when things don’t go as planned.
Difficulty accepting help: Some people have difficulty asking for or accepting help because they view it as a sign of weakness.
This struggle can make it challenging for them to seek assistance when needed. They may feel embarrassed or vulnerable when reaching out for support.
These individuals need to recognize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Imposing rules and structure: Creating strict rules and structure can limit flexibility and spontaneity for both themselves and others, leading to a rigid environment.
Hypercritical: Hypercritical people are very critical of themselves and others, often focusing on flaws and mistakes instead of recognizing achievements.
Tips to Let go of the Control
- Practice Mindfulness: To let go of control, practice mindfulness. Focus on the present moment and accept things without judgment.
When we’re mindful, we’re less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past.
We can practice mindfulness in different ways. One way is by meditating. Another way is by doing deep breathing exercises.
We can also practice mindfulness by focusing on our thoughts and feelings without trying to change them.
- Accept not knowing everything: To overcome the desire for control, embrace uncertainty. Life is unpredictable, and although it can be frightening, it also brings excitement and opportunities.
When we learn to tolerate uncertainty, we become more adaptable and resilient.
Begin by taking small risks. Try new things, such as picking up a new hobby. Another option is talking to someone you don’t know.
- Set Realistic Goals: Setting realistic goals can also help us overcome the need for control.
When we set goals that are achievable and aligned with our values, we’re more likely to feel a sense of purpose and satisfaction.
We can break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate our progress along the way.
It’s also important to be flexible and adjust our goals as needed, rather than rigidly adhering to a plan that may no longer serve us.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Practicing self-compassion is another key to overcoming the need for control.
When we’re kind and understanding towards ourselves, we’re less likely to engage in self-criticism and perfectionism.
We can practice self-compassion by treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a good friend.
This may involve speaking to ourselves in a gentle and supportive way, acknowledging our efforts and progress, and forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes.
- Seek Support: Finally, seeking support from others can be incredibly helpful in overcoming the need for control.
Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend or family member, joining a support group, or working with a therapist, having a safe and non-judgmental space to express our thoughts and feelings can be incredibly healing.
A mental health professional can help us identify the root causes of our need for control and develop strategies to cope with anxiety and stress.
Wanting to control everything can be a natural response to the uncertainties of life, but it can also lead to a host of psychological disadvantages.
By practicing mindfulness, embracing uncertainty, setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, we can learn to let go of the need for control and cultivate a greater sense of peace and well-being.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and there are many resources available to support you on your journey toward greater mental health and happiness.
If you’re struggling with the need to control everything and would like professional support, consider making an appointment with Dr. Benejam.
As a skilled psychologist, Dr. Benejam can help you develop effective strategies to overcome the psychological disadvantages of wanting to control everything and live a more fulfilling life.
Contact Dr. Benejam today to schedule an appointment and start your journey toward a more balanced and satisfying life.
To schedule a consultation with Dr. Benejam please contact his office Today!
Don’t hesitate to reach out and take the first step towards greater mental health and well-being.